REAL LIFE: How one woman is breaking down barriers to help mothers remember their babies born sleeping
“We knew Ollie was going to die from 24 weeks gestation ...”
Tanya Jeney was 36 weeks pregnant when she went into labour with her second baby, Oliver. Sadly, during labour little Ollie’s heart stopped beating, and despite the fact that doctors had warned her this would happen, it was still devastating for Tanya.
Speaking with Bounty Parents, Tanya said “We knew Ollie was going to die from 24 weeks gestation.
“One in four pregnancies end in stillbirth or miscarriage, so a lot of people are quietly suffering. You don’t realise how hard it is until you go through it yourself.”
Tanya knew, from 24 weeks gestation, that her unborn son would not survive.
Tanya had earlier decided to have some pregnancy photos taken, as she knew she wouldn’t get to hold her newborn baby for very long.
This sparked an idea in photographer, Marie Ramos, who had taken the photos of a pregnant Tanya, to create ceramic imprints of Oliver’s little hands and feet, to help keep his memory alive.
“Twelve years ago I had the privilege of meeting Oliver who was born sleeping and took his imprints using soft earthenware clay for his grieving parents,” Marie told Bounty Parents.
“I have since launched Oliver’s Gift to keep his memory alive, and my fundraising efforts ensures no grieving family ever has to pay for my services.
“It’s an honour and so surreal capturing a family’s darkest and happiest time – as some families come back for an imprint when they have a living child,” said Marie.
Marie Ramos, Founder of Marie Ramos photography created Oliver’s Gift to help parents have a keepsake memory of their babies born sleeping.
Six Australian babies are stillborn each day – that’s more than 2,000 babies each year.
Marie Ramos Photography has worked with more than 5,000 families over 15 years as a photographer – creating more than 3,500 newborn imprints and specialises in special ceramic hand and foot imprints for families who have had a baby “born sleeping” – donated as a gift to those families.
Marie Ramos Photography has been based in Sydney for 15 years and is now launching in Brisbane on the 26th of April.
Marie says “I see families in their most vulnerable and at their lowest and then at their most joyous when a baby is born breathing.”
“Everyone knows a baby who has passed – It makes the journey a lot less lonely to honour them and speak about them.”
Tanya now has three other sons 14yo Lachlan, 11yo Saxon and 9yo Brodie.
“As a family we always mark Ollie’s birthday – everyone gets a day off from work and school and we go and put flowers into the water at Darling Harbour. They boys know him and it’s nice to remember him on his birthday.
“No one likes to talk about it but everyone knows a woman who has had a baby who passed. I love talking about Ollie, even though it’s sad it makes the journey a lot less lonely and you get to honour your baby when you speak about them,” Tanya says.
“We cried and grieved for the family that never was and we knew we wanted to have photographs taken of him. In those days, you didn’t have the photographer come into the suite – let alone for a stillbirth. The midwives were really uncomfortable actually, but I’m so grateful we got to take those precious photographs and imprints,” she says.
