REAL LIFE: “My premmie baby nearly died three times…”

By Nic Stark

Elly was born at 29 weeks after a tumultuous pregnancy.

I had several large bleeds during my pregnancy and my membranes ruptured suddenly at 25 weeks gestation. This happened while we were visiting my parents’ house and my husband and I had to leave our four-year-old, Emma, with my family while we went in an ambulance to Wollongong Hospital.

After hearing I may go into premature labour within 12-24 hours, I was transported to The Royal Hospital for Women in Sydney and began what would be one of the hardest journeys I have ever faced.

Every hour that ticked by, I knew we had reached another important milestone. Every time our little Elly kicked or moved, I knew she was okay and held on to those small wins.

I don’t think I have ever been so scared in my entire life. Seeing my husband, my rock, struggling to not crumble in front of me broke my heart.

“I didn’t see my 4yo for four weeks”

I spent four whole weeks in the Royal Hospital for Women, being monitored and looked after by the amazing antenatal team, but it was four weeks of not being able to see Emma, not being able to hold her in my arms and kiss her. My husband had to play ‘solo dad’ while trying to be there for me, keep our family afloat, work and maintain the strength we so deeply needed.

It was incredibly hard being away from our firstborn. I felt torn wanting to do the right thing for my unborn daughter while also wanting to be there Emma, who was missing me terribly too. At one point, she thought that I had moved away from her and now lived at the hospital.

I managed to last four quiet weeks before I started to get contractions just a matter of hours shy of 29 weeks and, in the early hours of the morning, our beautiful Elly arrived dramatically into the world.

“It felt like an out-of-body experience”

When Elly was born, she opened her eyes and let out a little squeak, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. However, shortly after she was born, she stopped breathing and the incredible team of doctors and nurses managed to intubate her and keep her alive. I watched more and more staff rush to the little resus crib in the other room and then they closed the doors.

I was terrified. I felt so heartbroken, helpless and it felt like such an out-of-body experience. We had come so far, held on for so long and it simply couldn’t just end like this.

The morning she was born, my teary husband found me in the postnatal ward, accompanied by a paediatric specialist and I was told that Elly’s situation was “critical” and they “couldn’t make any promises”. At that point, I thought I was about to lose her, again, for the third time this pregnancy.

Not more than 10 hours later, we finally got to see our baby girl. She weighed just 1.135kg and looked tiny but so perfect. I didn’t know your heart could be so full yet broken at the same time. We couldn’t hold her, kiss her, smell the top of her head, the most we could do was place our hands inside a humidicrib to touch our baby girl. It was incredibly confronting seeing our baby girl hooked up to so many monitors, a breathing tube coming out of her little mouth, her dark hair still plastered to the top of her little head.

“At one point I actually went into shock”

Our world was not only imploding, but we had to remain strong for our other daughter Emma, stay strong for our Elly and take on a mountain of confronting medical information. I am a scientist myself, but even I couldn’t handle the information overload. At one point I actually went into shock. We went from Elly being extubated, to rocking her c-pap snorkel like a champion, to high flow to now breathing on her own.

As I write this, Elly is six months old, thriving, gaining weight and those delicious little leg rolls, laughing, smiling and trying desperately to talk to us. Her big sister is absolutely besotted with her baby sister, always so loving, caring and helpful. Elly’s face lights up when Emma enters the room, her first actual laugh was at her big sister and we’re pretty sure we know what her first word will be!

“Elly’s journey have been nothing short of extraordinary”

We had so many friends and family members reach out to us during this time and one thing remained consistent with their stories: That preemie babies are incredibly tough and amazingly strong.

I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. I have never known a little soul to be so strong and resilient and I hope one day to be as strong as her. What she has already experienced and been through in the six months she has been Earthside is more than most people go through in their lifetime and we find ourselves catching our breath as we watch her grow, completely in awe of her.

Witnessing our baby girl in what should have been her third trimester first hand in front of our eyes, we can say we are in complete awe of Elly’s strength and resilience and the exceptional medical expertise and compassion of the staff at the Royal.

Every wonderful nurse, doctor, specialist who we encountered on our and Elly’s journey have been nothing short of extraordinary and we hope that by sharing our story, it may help other parents who are struggling and encourage those of you who can to donate to the Royal Hospital for Women’s Foundation to give other premature babies the best chance possible,