Fitness influencer Ashy Bines on mum life, online trolls and the heartbreak of seeing your child sick

When it comes to motherhood, the juggle is real for all of us but for 30-year-old, fitness influencer Ashy Bines, it’s next level.

The Gold Coast mum-of-one is one of Australia’s biggest fitness influencers and entrepreneurs.

She has has over one million followers on Instagram, a successful podcast called, Raw and Real, her own activewear brand, Baseline and can now add author to her list of achievements.

Ashy Bines spoke to Bounty Parents about how she does it all.

You’ve got a lot on your plate. How do you juggle mum life with your four-year-old, Taj and everything else?

It’s definitely a juggle some days. Over the years I’ve definitely learnt to manage and plan my time. I’m a very routine and structured person and if I didn’t have the structure and routine in place, it wouldn’t work.

I’ve got times where I’m working, times I’m with my son, times when he’s in daycare three-days-per-week, times where I exercise. My husband, Steve and I are also a really good team.

Everything is structured and planned but you’ve got to be flexible and adaptable within that too.

If Taj is sick, obviously everything goes out the window. At the end of the day, it’s about priorities. If it’s important to us, we will always make time for it and if it’s not important we will always find an excuse or a reason to justify why we can’t do it.

Whatever I fit in my life which is work, family, fitness and health  – I will always find time for because it is important.

Congratulations on the launch of your new book. What made you want to write it?

Being on social media for 11 years, I love sharing my journey but with some of my photos on Instagram Stories and Snapchat, it’s gone after 24 hours. I felt I was limited with what I could teach. Whereas having a book and having full control over every single word and photo and activity that I’ve put in there was a different way that I could impact women and help them with their journey.

Your book is called 15 Lessons That Changed My Life but what’s your number one lesson?

Honestly, it’s hard to choose one because there is so many different topics, situations, challenges and lessons plus heavy and light things to read that it really depends on where you’re at in your life and what you’ll relate too.

What do you hope readers get from book?

I want women to find comfort in the fact that they are not going through things on their own. With different challenges in life we can feel really lonely when we’re on that journey.

Also we never stop learning. With this book, I’m not trying to say that I have all the answers but the more we educate ourselves, the easier it is to get through life’s challenges. Life is not always going to be happy times and I believe the universe gives us them as an opportunity to step up and grow.

The book is easy to read, it’s fun and there is lots of quotes and workbook activities so I think people will enjoy it while learning a lot about themselves.

In July, you shared on Instagram that your son, Taj was unwell and in hospital. You wrote: “Little man started to get severe pain in his lower left tummy and couldn’t walk, stand, eat, even sit up and just cried in pain, was awful to watch.”  How is he now?

He’s so good. We were in hospital for about nine hours so compared to what other parents go through it was fine, but it was our first time in hospital so we were really worried. There is nothing worse than seeing your child in pain.

I had never seen him sick like that but I felt a lot of gratitude in that we were able to take him home that night. He has been completely fine ever since.

What’s a typical day like for you?

Since Covid it has changed a lot. I used to be up at 4am and getting straight into emails and I would train before Taj and my husband had woken up.

I don’t have an alarm in the morning anymore, except when my little boy comes in and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Then I get up and do some stretches, some breath work and I write in my gratitude journal.

Then I hop onto Instagram and socials and have a quick scroll. My little man and I will then go for a walk. Steve and I may then tag team with each other to go to the gym but I only train three times a week, that’s enough for me right now.

We have some breaky, then Taj may go to daycare and I get stuck into work. Night times are really chill, we just hang out. I always have a bath with Taj and I’ll do that for as long as I can, but he’s going to be too big soon. Then hubby and I will watch some Netflix at night.

You have over one million followers on Instagram. What’s it like to have such a massive audience?

Honestly, I don’t really take notice of the numbers too much. I more look at the engagement on my posts. I love reading the comments and DMs. A few years ago if I hit a million followers I would’ve been like, ‘Yeah, woohoo!’ but I think it would’ve been my ego speaking. It’s cool for sure and the more people following means more people I can help but it doesn’t mean anything really. It didn’t feel any different!

What advice do you have for dealing with online trolling?

It’s always going to be a part of our world now unfortunately. With trolls, a saying I say a lot is, ‘hurt people, hurt people’. It’s helped me to have compassion for people who are nasty online.

I have little conversations with Taj, nothing too deep as he’s still quite young, but I teach him about being kind to everybody we meet regardless of how they treat us – we give love and kindness back.

But we also set boundaries. Online it might be blocking or deleting, if you don’t have the emotional energy or space to deal with online hate.

Sometimes you’re trying to reason with the unreasonable. If they have made their mind up about you, there might be nothing you can say.

In saying that I’ve had a lot of women projected anger or hate on me. I had one yesterday who was annoyed with me because I’m living my life up here (on the Gold Coast) and she’s stuck in Victoria. She really was not very nice and I said to her, ‘Are you ok? I really feel for you and I’m here for you.’

She sent me a voice message back balling her eyes out, saying, ‘I’m so sorry, I just got so angry and jealous and I’m sick of being at home and I just took it out on you.’

Sometimes when you can give compassion and love and check if they are ok, if you’ve got the emotional space.

I’ve been through some really heavy trolling, I go into this in my book and how dark and emotional a place I got to and without support around me I don’t know if I’d be here talking to you right now.

15 Lessons That Changed my Life by Ashy Bines, Pan Macmillan, RRP $39.99