No school? No problem: The 10 types of parents during home learning
Are you on the list?
When COVID-19 hit nobody really expected that nearly two years on we’d still be trying to find our new normal.
Lockdowns mean school shut downs and school shut downs mean school is at home now, and boy-oh-boy is THAT a new normal for most of us.
Whether we’re conducting at-home learning for a short time, a long time, or a please let this be over soon kind of time, there are a few types of home-schooling parents that you might come into contact with along the journey.
From those who have thrown in the towel, to those who are hoping to earn a gold star and everyone in between, we’ve listed some of the homeschool parents that we’ve encountered along the way.
Do any of these sound like someone you know?
The doomsday prepper
They’ve been waiting for the lockdown announcement for months. At the first sign that kids would be undertaking home learning they wheeled in the smartboard they found on Facebook Marketplace and began plastering the walls with alphabet charts.
If anyone is struggling to find stationery supplies, this parent is probably the reason why.
The ‘she’ll be alrighter’
There’s no home learning happening here. In 1989 this parent’s own parents took them on a trip around Australia in a Viscount Caravan with no air conditioning. For nearly 12 months they undertook no home learning after their mum accidentally left the teacher pack at the first caravan park they stopped at in Forster.
“And look how I turned out!”
We’re all just trying to get through the day!
The Lord of the Flies
This parent has their first Zoom meeting at 8am and an annual report due by Thursday. The kids know what they need to do and this parent is just trusting that’s what happens when they close the office door and ask to only be interrupted if there’s more blood than a bandaid can handle.
The gold star seeker
This parent was a swot at school and they’re determined to role model that same behaviour for their children. They’ve attended multiple webinars on how to nail home learning and the key to success is structure, structure, structure.
Binders with colour-coded schedules adorn the work area and there’s a pre-prepped snack station full of healthy treats to fuel learning throughout the day.
The work at home pack from the teachers allows for three hours of learning each day, but this parent has the kids enrolled in additional enrichment programmes to see them through until the afternoon bell.
They’re not angry that their child’s teacher clocks off at 1pm, just disappointed.
The outsourcer
This parent hasn’t bothered checking the essential worker list. If they don’t work, the kids don’t eat and that’s essential enough for anyone. The only online research happening here is to double check that the school bus service is still running.
“And look how I turned out!”
The off-gridders
No school? No problem. Once the school gates closed these suburban parents decided to forego technology and return to life as it was before … (before they were even born, that is).
Tupperware has been exchanged for Mason Jars, the school curriculum is swapped out for nature play and they’ve already put a call out for Kombucha scobies on the community noticeboard at the local fish and chippie.
The ‘throw-in-the-towelers’
Maths is different. English is different. Learning is just not the same as it used to be and these guys are totally prepared for their child to repeat Year One as many times as needed until the world reaches its new normal.
The ‘What’s the password againers’
Confusion is the word of the day. They’ve finally figured out how to log into Seesaw just in time for the teacher to start using the Class Dojo app instead.
There’s a pile of QR codes on their desk but they’ve lost all the access codes and their kid can’t remember how to get into Mathletics.
These guys are right on the edge of joining the ‘throw-in-the-towelers’.
What the heck is new maths?
The zen master
Every family member has their own yoga mat and are downward dogging before learning begins each morning.
Windchimes tinkle on the breeze as the zen master navigates online learning fuelled by green tea while simultaneously spouting positive platitudes on their family TikTok account.
The influencer
Life is a highlight reel for these homeschoolers. The kids know not to eat their lunch until a plate-pic has been snapped for The Gram and there’s one ‘good corner’ of the living area where nobody is allowed to mess up the cushions in case it’s needed for a shoot.
Kids are snapped wearing various shades of oatmeal while using learning tools that have been hand carved from pine and oak.
These parents encourage their followers to not stress about home learning and let their children follow their dreams, without fully disclosing that their own kid’s dreams involved an 8hr Minecraft marathon that very day.
