Top 10 tips to change the habits of fussy eaters

There’s no question meal times can be stressful if you have a fussy eater. Having your baby or toddler explore their food is natural and may encourage your little one to eat more variety, but it can really add to meal time messes. And no parent wants extra work!

A clinical psychologist specialising in eating disorders, Dr Rachel Cohen has teamed her professional experience with her life as mum to toddler Maya, to create a mealtime mess-saving product. Along with husband Brad, Rachel has created a high chair tray, Catchy, that attaches beneath your child’s seat and catches all the dropped food. Game changer!

With less mess, parents can be more inclined to let their children handle their food, and research shows that the first years of a child’s life may be the optimal window for establishing healthy eating behaviours.

Like all child development, learning to eat is a skill that takes time and practice. As parents, there are a number of things you can do to best support your child along the learning process and help them establish a health relationship with food.

Read Rachel’s top 10 tips to change the habits of fussy eaters…

10 tips to change the habits of fussy eaters

1) Focus on what’s in your control

We as parents are responsible for what and when we feed our children. Our children decide how much they eat. Ellyn Satter calls this the “division of responsibility”. This takes the pressure out of mealtimes where we no longer focus on how much our child is eating but focus instead on providing nutritious (what) and regular (when) meals. Letting our child decide how much they eat is crucial to help them learn to regulate their own appetites and develop positive associations with food and eating.

2) Serve a “safe” food with every meal

This is a food that you know that your toddler will eat (like rice, fruit or bread). Include this safe and familiar food together with the new or less favoured foods you are exposing them to. Even if they will likely refuse the other food you’ve put on the plate, still serve it (without pressuring them to eat it).

3) Keep mealtimes pressure-free

Never force feed or pressure a child to eat. Saying things like “just taste this” or insisting they eat “one more bite” is unhelpful and counterproductive. If they refuse food, don’t over-react or pressure them. Sometimes they keep refusing because they know they get a reaction. By stopping to pressure, bargain or over-react to food refusal, we eliminate the power struggle, keep mealtimes relaxed, and with time you’ll see your child try more things voluntarily than if you had pushed!

4) Don’t make a replacement meal

If your toddler knows that if they refuse dinner and can get whatever snack they want 10 minutes later, they’ll keep doing it… Many parents fall into this trap of becoming a restaurant with a never-ending menu of options! Instead let them know what’s on offer for dinner that night and don’t offer alternatives when they refuse. Remember if you’ve included a safe food in the meal you know they will eat if they’re hungry. If they don’t eat anything, that’s OK too. This may not go smoothly the first few times, but if you stay steadfast in this approach they’ll understand very quickly that the kitchen is closed and get with the program.

5) Eat together as much as possible

When it comes to most things parenting, children learn more from what they see you do, than what they hear you say. The best way to encourage a fussy eater to try new foods is for them to see you eating it yourself. Family meals are an opportune time to model healthy eating and enjoyment of a diverse range of foods. A study of 2-5 year old children in the UK found that eating the same food as their parents was the best predicter of pre-schooler vegetable consumption.

There are numerous healthier quick meal options on the market that can suit the whole family, so don’t pressure yourself to create a from scratch, nutrtious meal every evening.

A family of five with kids aged 6, 10 and 14, recently tried Impossible Chicken Nuggets Made from Plants as part of their evening meal. Mum Caryn popped them in her air-fryer as per instructions and found “they came out crispy and delicious in less than 10 miuntes, which was a total win after a long day at work”.

The parents agreed that the consistency and texture is great and that the taste is really good too. “Sometimes I find with soy based products they add so much spice and flavouring they can be a bit over powering,” said Caryn. “But this was not the case with Impossible Chicken nuggets. I can taste that they are not real chicken, but that’s probably a really good thing for someone who is consciously trying to stay away from meat-based products.”

“Good” was the teen’s opinion, even when she learned they were plant-based (and if you have a teen, you know that ‘good’ is high praise!); the 6yo happily tucked in but after three he noticed they weren’t quite the same as the ones they’d usually have. The 10yo finished her plate and didn’t question them.

Caryn said: “They feel like a much healthier, cleaner and less oily option, which I really liked. I reckon with a nice dipping sauce added to the mix, the most discerning chicken nugget lover would eat them happily. I’ll definitely be giving these to the family again as a healthier alternative to the much-loved genuine 40%  chicken nugget.”

6) Provide repeated exposure to new foods

Often parents offer a new food only a handful of times before quickly deciding their child doesn’t like that food and excluding it from future meals. Researchers have found that preschool-aged children tend to require up to 15 exposures to a new food before they “trust” it and even taste it. So, don’t just write off a food because they refused it the first time (or the 10th time)! Keep it in the repertoire.

7) Embrace the mess

Fussing over our kids while they eat can lead to fussy eaters! How much would you enjoy mealtimes if someone was wiping your face when you spilled, correcting how you used your spoon or fretting about the mess you were making. Doesn’t sound so fun, does it? Instead, letting our kids make mess while they learn to feed themselves is crucial to setting up positive associations with food and eating. Using a food catcher helps parents embrace the mess without stressing about the clean up after or wasted food!

8) Make food fun

Many children who are fussy eaters are very sensitive to different textures and can be reluctant to touch and try new foods. Messy play (outside of mealtimes) with food helps them get used to new textures. Handling and touching new foods without pressure to eat them will help your toddler become familiar with new foods, get used to different textures and more likely to try them in the future. Let them get involved in food preparation and cooking, do sensory play activities with different textured foods, and present food in playful ways on their plate.

9) Keep a routine

Make sure you’re feeding them at their best – toddlers don’t eat well if they become over hungry or overtired. Try keep a daily routine of 3 meals and 2-3 snacks around your toddler’s sleeping pattern instead of continuous snacking throughout the day.

10) Drop the guilt

There will be days when our kids will hardly eat or we may lose our cool. That’s ok! Just as our children are learning, we as parents are learning too. Maybe all they ate today was fish nuggets and chips and there wasn’t a vegetable in sight. That’s OK too! Did you know, a child’s body absorbs nutrients over a one to two-week period?! So, take the pressure off yourself (and them) and aim for variety and balance over the week instead of a perfectly balanced plate every single meal!