Laura Byrne opens up about her second miscarriage and shares what not to say to someone experiencing pregnancy loss
"I knew something was wrong... it was happening again.”
Laura Byrne has opened up about her second miscarriage revealing that she and fiancé Matty J experienced the loss only a couple of months ago.
Laura spoke in detail about the miscarriage in her Life Uncut podcast with fellow Bachie alumni Brittany Hockley.
While the Toni May jewellery designer has previously spoken about the first miscarriage she experienced prior to having her daughter, Marlie-Mae last year, this is the first time she has shared news of her second pregnancy loss with her fans.
“Just two months ago, Matt and I went through our second miscarriage and that still feels raw and very bizarre to even say out loud,” Laura told Brittany on the podcast.
“I found out I was pregnant. We [she and Matty J] had gotten really excited about it and we’d had our scans and everything. A week later, I felt different and I knew something was wrong and I knew it was happening again.”
During the podcast Laura went on to address what well-meaning friends and family should and should not say to someone going through miscarriage.
“There will be so many people who never experience it [miscarriage] themselves but they will be in situation where someone they love experiences it,” she explains.
“I know from being in the situation myself that there are not many things that you can say that will make the experience better. But there are a lot of things that you can say that will make the experience worse.
“People will say, ‘Oh well, it wasn’t meant to be’ or ‘Maybe this wasn’t the right time for you’ and I get that they are trying to be supportive and they are trying to be constructive. But when you are going through miscarriage being told that ‘Now is not the right time’ feels very dismissive and it’s like, well, now is the right time. I wanted this and I was excited and happy.”
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Laura also brought up another well-meaning phrase that women who already have a child can tend to hear after a pregnancy loss.
“I only heard it from a couple of people but it seems really common when you have one child to be told, ‘Well, you’re lucky that you have Marlie’ or that ‘You’re lucky that you have a baby’. And I am lucky that I have a baby. I know that and I know that there are many women out there who don’t have that but just because you have a child, it doesn’t diminish your right to feel grief over something that you lost,” she says.
So what should friends and family say? Laura says keep it simple and supportive.
“The only thing that you can say that is going to be good in this situation is, ‘That f**king sucks and I’m really sorry and I hope you’re ok and how are you? Can I do anything for you? Do you need me to cook something? Do you need a hug – maybe not right now because social distancing but do you need anything?”
“I think that’s enough. You don’t need to try and explain or tell people like, ‘You’ll get pregnant again’. None of that really matters in this moment.”
Matty J and Laura first fell in love on the 2016 season of The Bachelor.
