Fertility issues leave Channel Seven’s Erin Holland “physically broken” and feeling like she’s let husband Ben Cutting down
"It will take a village to create this baby, let alone raise it ..."
SAS Australia’s Erin Holland has shared a series of heartfelt posts on her Instagram account documenting her experience with fertility and IVF, admitting that she’s finding it emotionally tough.
The Instagram posts followed a meeting on Wednesday in which the pair had learned that their first round of IVF had resulted in “nothing viable”.
Now, the 33yo former Miss World Australia is getting very real about the brutal reality about the process and the flood of emotions that come with it, in particular the overwhelming feeling that she’s let her husband, Australian cricketer, Ben Cutting down.
Erin has been “feeling like the universe was telling her” that she is not meant to be a mother.
Sharing an image of herself in tears on Wednesday, Erin shared: “Last year, we found out the only real option to have a baby for me is #IVF.
“As someone who went in just wanting to freeze embryos until the time was ‘right’, I’ve grappled with the confusing feelings of the loss of any ‘normality’ of this process, feeling like the universe was telling me I’m not meant to be a mother, the guilt of letting Ben down, the ‘but am I even ready’ thoughts, feeling physically broken.”
After being told that their first attempt was unsuccessful, WAG Erin confessed that the sense “of failure is overwhelming”.
An image showing the bruising left on her stomach proves that the journey is not just emotionally tough, but has a physical toll as well.
The Seven reporter went on to say: “The toll on the mind & body, the injections, the cost.. but I’m so grateful for modern medicine – it will take a village to create this baby, let alone raise it.
“The fact that IVF is even a possibility blows my mind.. I know it’s only the very beginning of this journey, & I thought about only sharing it when it was over, if ever. But maybe that’s not really the point – all I’ve done is seek out information/podcasts/real life accounts from others going through this.”
Erin signed off her post by explaining that she was sharing her journey with the hope of making others who are going through the same thing feel heard and seen.
“To everyone in a similar boat, I hear you, see you, feel you xx 🤍”
The post, which was shared with her 511k Instagram followers gained immediate support, including from fellow celebrities who thanked Erin for her honesty.
Fellow SAS contender, Jana Pittman wrote: “Sending you love. Thank you for sharing Erin ❤️❤️”
Bianca Dye, who also went through IVF shared her unwavering support, saying: “Hey beautiful lady as someone who did IVF for 10 years with no success I can feel your heartbreak and pain please don’t give up ?? and please know I am here if you want to confidential chat?? Xxx sending you so much love and huge hug ok!??”
Writer and Foodie, Silvia Colloca offered: “Oh, precious Erin, I’m hurting for you and wish I could hug you right now. You have a natural nurturing quality I recognised the moment we met. This will happen.I’m sorry the road has to be so tortuous. But your village will hold you ❤️”
Erin spoke of her “guilt” of letting her husband Ben Cutting down.
Supporting Erin through this is also her husband Ben, who Erin recently credited with staying by her side through “the hard times, & the good”’
The pair have been married for just over a year now, after tying the knot in a lavish Byron Bay ceremony in February 2021.
Following the flood of support, the “broken” presenter made another post, sharing images from the process and thanking everyone for their wishes.
The images including Erin’s bruised stomach, and a gowned shot before her procedure highlight how physically challenging the process can be.
Erin Holland has revealed the confronting reality of IVF.
“We are honestly beyond overwhelmed by everyone’s kindness & support.. it feels like a dark black cloud that has followed me around for months has lifted a little.. I’m so grateful,” Erin shared.
“Last week looked a little like these few photos. The twice daily injections, bruising, bloating & (alleged😒) mood swings are a roller coaster. Having nothing much to show for it is tough, but we carry on.”
