5 signs your child could benefit from seeing a psychologist

By Dr Alissa Knight – Clinical Psychologist

One of the most positive outcomes to come out of psychological assessment with children is clarity. Parents may bring their child to see a psychologist due to several issues they have been experiencing, but have no idea why.

Often, children with learning disabilities, behavioural or attention problems become so discouraged at home or at school by their difficulties that they lack the motivation to try. They often feel targeted, isolated, alienated, and become frustrated with themselves and other people. This often leads to eventually ‘acting out’ behaviourally at home or in class at school, as this is their way of expressing that frustration.

A thorough assessment is vital because what may present as defiant behaviour at home, or inattentive behaviour in the classroom could be due a verbal memory problem, a language processing disorder, anxiety, emotional preoccupation (e.g., the child is focused on a recent death in the family), neurologically-based attention problems, or may mask a learning disability.

Read on as Dr Alissa Knight shares five signs your child could benefit from seeing a psychologist.

5 signs your child could benefit from seeing a psychologist

1. Emotional dysregulation

Self-regulation is the ability to manage your emotions and behaviour in accordance with the demands of the situation. Although mastery of emotion regulation continues right until adulthood, we tend to see children fairly competent by around the age of 5 years old. Which is why if you’re a parent, chances are you’ve witnessed a pretty horrifying tantrum in your 2-year-old toddler.

But if your child reaches school age, and is still having frequent emotional meltdowns and outbursts that appear disproportionate to the situation, has an emotional threshold that seems to go from zero to one million in two seconds flat, exhibits a lot of anger, rage, irritability, does not listen to instructions, is argumentative, confrontational, or appears out of control, this is a really clear sign that either something neurological or psychological is underpinning that behaviour, and your child would largely benefit from seeing a psychologist.

2. Regression in functioning

A child who suddenly regresses in functioning, whether it be psychological, adaptive, academic, social, motor skills, language, or emotional, can be quite alarming for a parent. With children, we most often see what is termed reversible “pseudo” regression, meaning it is in the absence of neurological origins and is most commonly aligned with trauma, emotional deprivation or a major life event (e.g., a new baby sibling has arrived home, a death in the family, or changing schools).

If you do notice sudden onset of regression in any form of functioning that has persisted for longer than a week (e.g., all of a sudden cannot read the words in a book they have been able to read efficiently for a long time), it is always a sign that your child may not be coping well, and could largely benefit from seeing a psychologist.

3. Social isolation

Children, just like adults, have different thresholds for how much socialising is necessary for their wellbeing. Some children will be incredibly outgoing and appear to have lots of friends, and others will be more inherently shy and prefer to have a few close friends. For small children (3 years to 5 years), If you notice they exclusively prefer to play on their own in group settings, do not seem at all interested in other children, or appear to not understand how to engage socially, this may be a sign to seek the advice from a psychologist to rule out any developmental disorders.

For older children, if you notice any change in your child’s social behaviour such as withdrawing from friendship groups, eating lunch alone, turning down social invites to parties, and wanting to stay home, this is a clear sign they are not coping, and would largely benefit from talking to a psychologist.

4. Not adjusting to change

Some children take significant life events such as parental divorce, moving to a new home and school, or the death of a loved one very hard. Divorce, for example may evoke feelings of abandonment and blame towards one parent in older children.

Younger children, may interpret the split as though they have played some causal role in it, blaming themselves. If you notice that your child has begun to express more externalising behaviours (e.g., anger, lashing out against the world, heightened anxiety, easily upset and crying more, withdrawing, sadness), or physical symptoms such as headaches, or an upset stomach, these are all signs that your child may benefit from seeing a psychologist who will be able to help them adjust to these changes in a way they feel well supported.

5. Bullying

Being bullied can greatly affect a child’s thoughts, academic performance, self-confidence, moods and behaviour leading to ongoing emotional distress and depression. In very serious cases, there is also a risk of self-harm and suicidal ideation. Getting help to put a stop to the bullying, learn coping mechanisms for building self-confidence and future conflict, and in some circumstances trauma-based therapy to overcome the traumatic experience, are all import areas that psychologists can help children with.