Ask the Village: “How do I establish a routine when I return to work?”

Every parent has a story – 30 Oct 23 By bountyteam

A working mum is starting night shift and has come to our #AskTheVillage community for advice around establishing an evening routine for her toddler.

One parent opting for an evening shift is often a great way to manage the logistics of childcare when the children are very young. However, that change in routine can sometimes be enough to send a household into a spin!

That’s exactly what one community member is worried about, so much so that she has written into Ask the Village for advice on setting up and maintaining a routine through the change.

“We would love some tips on how to form a good evening routine for a busy toddler boy before the back to work change happens.”

“I am returning to work in one month and have nominated evening shift so that we save on childcare,” she wrote. “This means that my husband, and sometimes my mum, will be doing the care of our one-year-old from 4pm until midnight.”

While she suspects that her son would mostly be asleep, she is also aware that she is leaving him during, perhaps, the most difficult time of the day.

“He should be asleep for most of my shift BUT they also get the craziest witching hour time too. We would love some tips on how to form a good evening routine for a busy toddler boy before the back to work change happens.”

Toddlerhood is already a time of so many changes and transitions to do with feeding and sleep, so it’s a wise move for this family to try and establish some security for their little one before the next big change happens.

Thankfully, the #AskTheVillage community of parents had plenty of advice and experience when it came to this very subject.

Fair-haired woman with pale blue top and dark skirt looking back at dark-haired man standing in a doorway holding a toddler girl — Starting a routine before going back to work can make the changes easier for everyone. *(Image: Getty)*

“It was a bit of extra work for all of us, but it made the transition less stressful!”

“Oh Mamma, don’t stress about them getting the witching hour! They will manage and everyone will be fine,” reassured one responder, before adding: “A good routine will definitely help bub transition to the new situation feeling loved and secure. Dinner, bath, milk, story, cuddle and sleep is always a winner. Good luck!”

Another endorsed consistency, urging the family to “Keep the routine the same everyday. So, after 4pm you might do dinner, bath, story time and then bedtime – and the next day, your hubby or mum does the same. A consistent routine is the key!”

One poster had been through the same situation themselves and began consistently establishing a routine a few weeks before returning to work. “It was a bit of extra work for all of us, but it made the transition less stressful overall,” they assured. “Dinner, play, bath, milk, then book in bed worked for us.”

Dark haired dad in white t-short lying on the bed with a dark haired toddler with pigtails as they point at a story book — After dinner, a little play, then a bath followed by a warm drink and a book before bed is a common evening routine. *(Image: Getty)*

How do you establish a bedtime routine for a toddler?

A consistent evening routine is a fantastic way to help your little one feel safe, secure and comfortable. And while they might seem tricky to establish at the beginning, sticking with it is so worth it.

There are few things that can help set your toddler’s sleep routine:

Keep it consistent: It feels like a big challenge, trying to get a toddler to bed at the end of a long day. Consistency is key though, and because little kids generally respond well to routines, it won’t take long for them to recognise that the routine leads to bedtime. Most bedtime routines may look like this: dinner, bath, evening drink such as one of the products from Aptamil’s Toddler range*, a book, cuddle and tuck in.

Take it easy: You’re tired, they’re tired… The bedtime battle is not a relaxing time but if parents can try hard to relax into it and make it a chilled experience, it can be better all around. If we’re stressed, our kids feel it too and can feed off that. Appearing to be calm and relaxed about bedtime may help children relax into the routine too.

Lights out: Dimming the lights and using blackout blinds or night lights can help children settle for bedtime. Overhead lights, TVs and screens can be overstimulating so reduce these things as much as possible in the run up to bedtime.

Create a pattern: Decide on your schedule and follow it. For several days (a week if you can), try to remove all other distractions or events that will disrupt the sleep routine timings. It might feel hard at first, but short-term pain equals long term gain in this instance. Even if it feels like it’s an uphill battle, don’t give up. Stay consistent for a few days to give the bedtime patterns the chance to stick.

Hug it out: Sleep is crucial for healthy development, growth and wellbeing but sometimes toddlers need that extra long cuddle. You know your little one the best, so when you think they need to have a sleepy cuddle, don’t be afraid to hug it out and start afresh tomorrow.

*When intake of energy and nutrients may not be adequate.

Important notice: Any advice on #AskTheVillage is general only and should not be substituted for medical advice. Always seek and follow advice from a medical professional in relation to any health issues or concerns you may have.

Brought to you by Aptamil Toddler