Ask the Village: “Bedtimes are a nightmare with my toddler!”

A concerned parent has come to our #AskTheVillage community for advice around establishing a bedtime routine for their toddler.

As adults we’d probably love for someone to tuck us in and tell us it was time to catch some zzz’s, but for some boundary-pushing toddlers the word “bedtime” can be a call to arms.

That’s exactly what is happening for one community member, who has written in to Ask the Village to get help with the nightly battle happening at their house.

Toddlerhood is a time of so many transitions including moving from a cot to a big bed or sometimes a new bedroom altogether. They are all BIG transitions on their own, but when you consider that a lot of those factors contributed to the way they used to wind down for the day, it’s no wonder that bedtime can feel like such a big deal for those entering the toddler years.

As parents, one of the joys of raising toddlers is watching them gain confidence to try new things as they grow, however the time to start asserting their independence is probably not best when it’s time for lights out!

One parent has asked for help when it comes to making bedtime run a little smoother in their home, writing: “Bedtimes are a nightmare with my toddler. My son refuses to go to sleep unless I lay with him and this can sometimes take an hour or longer. If I leave the room while he’s still awake he cries or continually comes out of his room. What am I doing wrong? How can I create a bedtime routine that actually works?”

While it may feel to them that the task is enormous, they are already on the right path by considering a routine as a solution.

Thankfully, the #AskTheVillage community of parents had plenty of advice and experience when it came to this very subject.

“Building a routine that works for you really does pay off in the end …”

Many responders were quick to assure this exhausted toddler-parent that they “were not doing anything wrong”.

“Trust me this is just a phase,” promised one parent. “My toddler is like this on and off.”

Another felt the writer’s pain, sharing: “I have three kids and getting the toddler twins to sleep is a nightmare as one of them is always on the go!”

They said they’d followed advice to “start their sleep schedule in the beginning of the day and focus on getting their daytime naps sorted,” and while at first it was “a punish” it got easier after just one week.

“It helped being really strict with the bath/milk/book/bed routine too,” they advised.

Another commenter was quick to endorse establishing a consistent routine, saying: “I remember getting stressed in the lead up to bedtime with my son and thinking it was going to be a nightmare. A friend suggested I stay in the moment and treat each night as a new chance to set a calming bedtime routine in place. Now, he’s older and we have no problems at bedtime. You’ll get there too!”

One more suggested “Bath, story, milk, cuddle and dreams” as the solution, promising that ”It really is magic (eventually … stick with it!)”

How do you establish a bedtime routine for a toddler?

Sleepless nights are an expected and accepted part of becoming parents, but there are things you can try with your little one to make sure everyone gets as much vital shut-eye as possible.

There are few tips to help with getting your toddler to sleep

Routine: OK, it might seem easier said than done, but children are creatures of habit, and if you are consistent it won’t take long for your toddler to realise the patterns you are setting are their sleep time cues. An example of an evening routine could be bath, an evening milk drink such as one of the products from Aptamil’s toddler range*, a book, cuddle and tuck in.

*Aptamil Toddler milks are formulated supplementary food for young children, when intake of energy and nutrients may not be adequate.

Relax: Facing a toddler battle might not exactly be a zen experience, however our little ones feed off our temperament and anxiety. By approaching bedtime as nonchalantly and calmly as possible, it won’t take long for your toddler to realise that bedtime is not the huge deal they’ve built it up to be in their mind.

Light: Darkness is a great sleep cue. Without light and their surroundings overstimulating them, your little one is much more likely to give in to those wonderful sleep hormones that will see them off to the land of nod.

Consistency: You need to stay consistent for any of this to help your toddler. Even if you feel it is not working it is essential to stick with the same patterns for a few days to give them a chance to work before trying something else.

Cuddles: Whilst sleep is so important for your toddler’s overall health and development, sometimes they just want and need you. It’s OK to try to embrace it and enjoy those snuggly, sleepy cuddles while you can.

Brought to you by Aptamil Toddler

Important: Any advice on #AskTheVillage is general only and should not be substituted for medical advice. Always seek and follow advice from a medical professional in relation to any health issues or concerns you may have.